


heavy hearts and heavy paper

by beatrixfranklin



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatrixfranklin/pseuds/beatrixfranklin
Summary: valerie leaves nonnatus. for good.
Relationships: Valerie Dyer/Trixie Franklin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	heavy hearts and heavy paper

Trixie's exhausted. The door clatters shut behind her, leaving nothing but a ringing silence in the room that is suddenly consumed by an extra person's worth of space. As she flops onto her mattress, exhaustion seeping out of every pore, she hears the crinkling of an envelope beneath her weary head. Her attention turns to an envelope on the pillow underneath her and she props herself up on a dainty elbow, taking it in both hands. The formal cream is a stark contrast to cared for, yet well-worked hands. Soft pink nail beds against clinical and formal dullness.

Her first thought is Patsy, and, by default, Delia. Raised with money and poise, Patsy insisted on only the finest paper and pristine, pressed envelopes for her letters, even those simply full of well wishes and giving updates on her latest ventures with her Welsh soulmate. The insistence on such matters means Trixie no longer panics at letters drenched in formalities.

Turning it over in gentle hands, Trixie notes that the addressee on the front, printed rather than inscribed in handwriting, is not her, that it is simply addressed to Nonnatus. There's an emblem stamped onto the front, one Trixie faintly recalls but isn't entirely certain of. She slips a manicured finger under the seal and lifts the envelope flap. 

" _The relations of Cpl Valerie Elsie Dyer."_

Trixie's heart is thumping, blood rushing in her ears. It's roaring, deafening. Why is this letter here, is her first thought, resisting against the bile rising in her slowly closing throat. Valerie's entire life, her family. her flesh and blood are here in Poplar. Yet the letter is with Trixie, between pale, Nivea scented hands that now tremble. She tentatively reads on, unconsciously nibbling an otherwise pristine nail. Then it hits her. All at once, like a hurtling train burning all the coal it has. Floating gently, catching the air, the letter leaves now shaking hands, laying to rest on the ground. The sobs leave her body before she's had time to process them. Loud, wracking sobs that consume her entire being. Behind her, the door opens, yet Trixie's completely unaware and caught up in grief and pain. Sister Julienne's behind her now, eyes falling to the crisply printed letter lying on the floor at Trixie's feet. The nun takes a seat beside the devastated midwife, wrapping a warm arm around violently trembling shoulders. Trixie falls into the woman's side, head resting against the humble wooden cross.

"I warned her not to go back," Trixie says eventually, her breathing laboured as she gasps for air amongst sobs. Sister Julienne just nods, refusing tears prickling in her own bright blue eyes. The room is silent again, the two women sat in grief, things left unsaid and not thought of.


End file.
